Mortified. What on earth makes you think anyone wants your man? One suggestion was to bring food just in case I delivered in the middle of the night and the cafeteria was closed (everyone said Id be STARVING after delivery). However, Phil and I are pretty much the masters of the silent fight. It also gives you a sense of control and confidence when you are working with your husband or partner on recovery. Fine. I was in delivery with my second child in 12 months. I was laying on the bed playing And E was sitting in my desk chair. A simple rule for when to go to the hospital for labor is the 5-1-1 rule. Thanks. I just looked at him and siad Seriously!?! omg, i totally broke out in huge loud laughter when i read this.in a silent room at that. Im sorry if you do not want to hear this but someone has got to say it instead of ignoring it. -Amy, Mine watched TV with his face pressed against the screen because he couldnt hear it over my pain noises! More than that is considered heavy drinking, and as previously stated 5+ on any one occasion is considered binge drinking. While crawling along, my contractions got closer together and longer. You know, because that is how alcoholism works. Second, that is way to much drinking for a regular basis. This is not going to change after the baby is born, he has made that clear. 3. He THEN started snoring and for about 30 minutes I tried to ignore it, but was just getting increasingly more annoyed with each breath he took. So when my mom showed up to help out, hes so busy talking to her that Im having to hit him in the arm every time a contraction came so he would rub my back the only thing I asked him to do (hard back labor). Yeah right. My nurse who had me pushing literally would not let me catch my BREATH because she told me to push every 10 seconds..for 2 WHOLE HOURS. Or even if it wasnt, theres still a little bit of schadenfreude involved isnt there? I would definitely tell him if he's buzzed he is not welcome in the delivery room because it will only cause you more distress while you're trying to bring your first child into this world. My first child was early and I had a long hard 19 hour labor. This must help. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. -Carrie, My husband rested the magazine he was reading on my legs while I lay dying WITHOUT an epidural. He was about 4 minutes from the hospital but after 20 minutes he stillhadnt shown up. My informal plan was to attempt medication-free vaginal . While having my first son, I tore from one end to the other. Look at some of the comments and then talk about stupid. You may come across situations where things go beyond your control, and you might end up in an embarrassing situation. In the car, everything was very annoying to me: the radio, the sound of my husband at the time talking on the phone, just everything. Its not that hard.. Then I proceeded to time them for an hour (so he could continue sleeping). Misty, My husband left me, when I was in labor, to go buy a PS3 (it was Black Friday). I woke up at 2:30 to contractions. This. And please feel free to add your husbands own egregious efforts below. Yep, I was 8.5 cm when we checked in to the hospital). I said we didnt have that kind of time that Id gone from 5cm-8cm in 35 minutes. Diagnosing alcoholism can be difficult because it often goes unnoticed by family and friends. Start by selecting which of these best describes you! Now this of course makes us, the people theyve invited over for a BBQ, a little uncomfortable. My mother, being Korean and not knowing any English had the most difficult time getting a hold of him. Of course, I couldnt, so about 9 am, I started timing my contractions and they were getting to be about 5 mins apart. However, this might give you peace of mind for a moment. Both those incidents still come up at family get togethers. for fear that he would pass out. Also, per Davidson, never, ever wear open-toed shoes to the hospital. All for a free parking spot!!! Sexuality has nothing to do with a persons character or supportiveness. I'll talk to him tomorrow. There might have been pee before I got all hooked up. What would you do? He is lucky I didnt kill him. Unfortunately, the emerald fell out when I was in middle school so I bought a new one to replace it. I Just know I need someone calm and sober with me when labor starts, not someone with booze breath. If I were you, I would have a back up plan. So, do you maintain the rage? Rachell, I was in labor all night and ready to go in the morning. For you I would give your DH a heads up if you start feeling any contractions and have him head home if they start getting regular . Im sure his parents saw far more than they ever hoped to see, and Ive never let him live it down. Unbeknownst to her, it was contractions. I went into labor while he was sitting in the bay, alone in a boat. Most of the responses ignore the real issues, blame it on men being stupid, or just excuse his behavior. My wife had a 24 hour labor that ended up in an emergency c-section. She had yummy ice chips and broth. They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk. One day shell remember to leave the meat out for tea but until then she writes beautiful and amusing posts on her blog which you can find here:http://bernmorley.blogspot.com/, i'm horrible at arguing. The nurse ran out of room because she couldnt handle it. Joanish, My husband grew up on a cattle ranch, and during labor with our first he very confidently announced to the nurse that he wasnt nervous at all because Ive seen this a million times with cows. Labor Story #8: The waiting game (41 weeks / vaginal to C-section) Location: Alexandria, Va. Year: 2013. I think I may have got lucky! My husband decided the ideal time to invite his parents into the labor & delivery room was when I was laying spread eagle, everything out for the world to see, being stitched up by the doctor after our son was born. When they were out (it was 2am after all), HE WAITED FOR THEM TO BREW A FRESH POT. I am not saying what your DH is doing is right, in fact, I think 5 drinks every night is a bit heavy and you should talk to him about it. My DH never drinks like that, unless we're headed out for a crazy night with friends (every once in a while) or to a wedding or something. Well, setting up limits for them. Indeed! Labor was a piece of cake until they broke my bag of waters. Then, after I finally pushed my baby out (an hour and a half of pushing), he complained about being exhausted. Water Breaking Is a (Damn Obvious) Sign of Labor. but this isn't just within my relationships i'd say it's with friendships and working environment - REALLY envy those that have any guts to say what they feel. My dear husband decides its a good idea to take a work call on the bluetooth/speakers in the car! Copyright 2009-2023 Creative Skirt, LLC. If it were me, I would tell him in no uncertain terms that if he wants to be there that he has to be 100% sober. Thank you TokenI think im in love with you! When my DH was starting up his business last year we were going through huge financial stress he would often have 2-3 beer over a day. If something bothers them, well then, in front of all and sundry, they will pretty much have it out. And often I wonder if this is healthy. Now for Baby #2I have pictures of Dad sitting in my hospital bed holding our daughter, chatting on a phone headset. Its a disorder or an addiction that needs treatment than just taking the blame. My mom would have been my birth coach. This, I really think that you need to convey how important it is to you and the baby, then make sure that he realizes how serious you are that you NEED a coach to help get you through this and if he is to drunk to do it then you will find someone else and he will be relegated to the waiting room. I went into labor at 10:30am Saturday morning and, this being my first child, I didnt know it. Then I asked him to wake our 3-year-old and get him ready for daycare. He's turning 30 - his birthday isn't some magical day where responsibilities don't apply to him I'm currently TTC and my husband already knows that he isn't getting drunk during my entire final month (36 weeks on) unless there is a plan for someone else to drive me. My nurse thought he had the flu. I had a very, very fast labor (from nothing to a baby in my arms in 7 hours). around 9 he came to bed, moved me over and tried to go to sleep. The *only* reason I left the room when she was in labor was to go to the bathroom. I was sleeping when suddenly cramped stood up and my water broke. There is no scientific proof to show that drinking alcohol can help in inducing labor. Hes a genius. My husband and I have had our problems with his drinking in the past. So, they may play the trick on you. Alcoholism is a serious addiction that can affect both the addict and those around them. AND, it is your child too, not just his. The. I made breakfast. And yes, I actually fix my hair. -Jessica, My husband unabashedly complained about a canker sore while I was in labor. I stop on the way home to fill up the truck and he calls me back asking if I was serious or if this was just a trail run to see how fast we could get everything readyOMG its not a test this is the real deal! My husband laid down on the couch in the hospital room, rolled over and fell asleep. Andhe bowled the only perfect game of his entire life! I spent the entire time in the hospital alone. I almost left the house to officiate a HS basketball game (scrimmage) when she was in labor. Baby. Youve done this before. He went back to sleep. I said the baby is coming now. But he's probably young enough where that can all be avoided if he changes his patterns NOW. Amen. He says to her Oh, the hospital said theyd call me as soon as anything happened As he was saying the words he knew hed made a mistake. By the time we got up to labor and delivery, I was completely dilated but my water hadnt broken. Your husband has to submit to you during your childbirth becauae you are the patient and you will be exposed. Thank you! You are pregnant, not we are pregnant. What bugged me was that my husband didnt want to call into work so I was the one who had to meet the girl and her entire family (her, her boyfriend(not the dad), her mom, dad, grandma, step mom, step dad, sister and I think the family dog. he replied no it didnt and rolled over to try and go back to sleep. I had a go-bag ready with food, water and phone numbers. My husband stopped drinking the first week in April. Would you trust him to drive? Pet Behavior. It is quite difficult to deal with an alcoholic husbands emotional abuse. About 15 minutes or so later I hear my wife come in the house and call out to let me know she was home. My husband took nearly two hours to have lunch with his mom at the hospital, after he had been helping me through contractions all morning. Second, how important is it to your husband that he be at the birth? Police raided a pregnant woman's home wrongly suspecting her husband stole a snowblower; she ended up in jail, in labor, and experts say, illegally in shackles. She re-positioned the monitor and the needle was off both sides of the page. Oh yeah, and he lost like 15lbs over the course of 2 months without drinking. Imagine youre married to an alcoholic husband who drinks daily and beyond the limit, only to create a nuisance later. I felt bad,infact still feeling vexed, Mine did the same thing I had to send my pap out to go buy my undies, Thats why I called my girlfriend to go buy underwear for me, cant trust men with that. Most nights he drinks to the point of stumbling, and not . After your first childbirth, labor usually takes less time. Prodromal labor can last all day and into the night before stopping for a few hours. When they dont have a limit, they will drink more than they need to and will surely be uncontrollable. The one thing that you would do at this point is go into denial mode. With my first I called my then husband to tell him my water broke, he asked if I could drive myself to the hospital so he didnt have to leave work. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that, you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. The nurse had him switch out for my best friend and he scooted over to sit next to me on the bed and just as a nurse pushed a trash can in front of him he proceeded to PUKE LOUDLY next to me on the bed while I was in transition! When my contractions were less than 2mins apart, I told my husband we needed to leave. Suffer. My FI usually has a few drinks every night too but I am not really worried about him not being able to drive to the hospital because theres tons of people around us who would be more than willing to drive me there. Did you have a birth plan? When I mentioned this is really beginning to hurt, his comment? After 26 hours of Oxytocin induced labour our son arrived and my hubby had the balls to say jokingly Well, at least we know hes hers! There was never any doubt about paternity, it was just his stupid sense of humour. My husband also told me at one point that hearing the doctor give me the episiotomy sounded like someone cutting raw chicken with scissors. When we had our first child, I was nesting like mad crazy the night before (I was in labor, and my house had to be clean for my mom). Bringing an extra pair of pants or a sweater might keep you more comfortable for what could be a lengthy labor. SEARCH PARTIES. -RealMomofNJ, Mine kicked me out of the car in the ambulance bay 9cm dilated with my bag and left me to traipse across the hospital and up two flights of stairs on my own because he didnt want to pay for hospital parking. Many, many people struggle with this same issue, and there is help available if he chooses to use it. When he got home, he dropped his phone in a stock pot that was soaking in the sink. 20 Tips to Deal With Unresolved Issues in a Relationship, 10 Signs Being in a Relationship With an Alcoholic Partner, A therapist or counselor will be able to help him, 10 Ways to Support Your Spouse in Addiction Recovery, 15 Ways to Improve Emotional Support in Your Relationship, Individuals with alcoholism may have a number of behavioral and emotional characteristics, including a lack of self-confidence and. Well, it was getting late, and his sister called to see how things were going, and he smiled affectionately at me and told her that the contractions werent too bad yet. When the guy on the other end asks so, how are you doing? because he probably heard my whimpering/low moaning in the background, my husband replies well my wife is actually in labor and were on the way to the hospital I think the guy on the phone call was speechless at first, and then smartly ended the conversation so my husband couldI dont know focus on driving through the blizzard and getting his wife to the hospital!?! What happens if you have an emergency at home one night and your husband is drunk? It wasn't until my midwife stripped the membranes at 41 weeks that I finally went into labor." 2.) Stand with them and help them overcome it. 9. And that I hadnt eaten dinner and was starving. They might be useful in convincing him that he's got a pretty vital role and needs to be really present. We rarely, if ever, have an all-out shout out loud, call the cops, argument. Thank goodness he was great the rest of the time or Id be a widow, not a divorcee. She arranged transportation to the hospital from our neighbors. Sandals and flip flops are not recommended, especially if a situation arises where you may have to go into an operating room. Most women will go into labor within 12 hours of their water breaking, but this can happen much sooner. From funny to divorce-worthy to I-would-totally-understand-if-your-husband-turned-up-dead,here are 28 of my favorite examples of Crap Husbands Pull While Their Wives are in Labor. My water had broken at 6pm while I was at work, they wouldnt allow me to drive home and the doc said it was too early to come in so I waited over an hour for my now ex husband to pick me up. He drinks every night. It doesn't matter if its wine instead of hard drinks, the point is the dependency. Oh well, possibly because it was the day before I gave birth to our 3rd child, Jack. He still occasionally takes a beer, glass of wine or a rye down to the office when he's doing paperwork, but occasionally is the key word here. Thanks! My hubby is a talker, too. And then I would unleash hell. When it comes to dealing with an alcoholic husband in denial, speaking to them about the issue in length seems a better option. . My experience is pretty tame compared to most of these! -Kirsti, My husband asked if he could borrow one of my pillows, because his back hurt and I had too many. My mom always tells the story of when she was in labor with my sister, on Thanksgiving Day, and somewhere around 20-so hours of labor my dad ate a full Thanksgiving dinner, turkey drumstick and all, right in front of her. If you are having symptoms of preterm labor, call your healthcare provider right away. According to the World Health Organisation. So if he wont agree to give up the drinks then you should have someone as a backup coach that can stand in for him. They were 1 minute apart, which was not what the books and classes told us we should be at this early on. We didnt go to bed until midnight. My husband fell asleep while I was in labor and was in such a deep sleep, the anesthesiologist had to maneuver around him in the chair in order to do the epidural. He then goes home and sleeps on and off for 10 hours (in between bouts of explosive diahrrea) while Im at the hospital with our first newborn daughter, ALONE. A few other symptoms are: Drinking early in the morning. Suffer, dear. I told my husband in the morning that I had been in labor most of the night (he slept through it). Posted 6/9/10. Thats when the smell of a thousand beers hit me. Listen to Token and others who have pointed out that there is a problem beyond driving to L&D. These are all way worse than mine, but my husband insisted that my then 19 hours of labor was not *real* labor because my contractions were not evenly spaced apart like the book says and did not think it was necessary for me to go to the hospital when I could no longer stand the pain. Whats worse is that his parents brought him back to the hospital drunk as a skunk. My daughters dad (who fortunately I had the good sense never to marry) kept his distance from me the last month or so of my pregnancy, which probably is what kept me from delivering in prison, but he wanted to be at the hospital for the birth. My husband was awesome! Out of all the natural ways to induce labor at home, nipple stimulation is one of the most reliable options. For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a cup of coffee from the bodega across the street. So, the advice here is to keep away from the situation and let things happen. Dont come to me saying look what your child did. It is always our child. It was our first child. It was league night, after all. In the absence of a specific policy that the employee has agreed to abide by . Woo hoo! I am so thankful and blessed I dont have a story to share like this. She told all of the nurses to shut up and leave as she recovered. You would really benefit from an Al-Anon meeting or two. As he was putting the needle in my back, my husband let out a loud snore and the dr laughed. How do you know he will take you seriously if you tell him you are uncomfortable with the amount he is drinking? The worst expectation you as a wife to an alcoholic husband may have is to expect a change overnight. Those who knew Angela Dickinson said she could charm any man. I walked up and down the stairs a few times to see if it was real labor. You will have to work together, as a team if you want to come out of the situation. Allison Leonard/Ilona McCarty. -Lucy, About 30 minutes after our son was born (a full 24 hours of labor) my husband told me he was going to head home for a bit because he was exhausted. My water broke in the middle of the night, we made our way to the hospital and once we arrived i was put in a wheel chair, wheeled into the elevator and left unable to walk because of pain while my husband went to find a free parking spot. since the 4th month. Its not that alot of us men are not trying. Delivery type: Vaginal that progressed to C-section. Judging from the two phone calls I had with Uncle B while she was in labor (one in which he was right by her side at the hospital and the other in which he was buying her a box of popsicles), Id say he didnt screw his job up nearly as bad as most of your husbands did. However, you can convince them to set certain limits to how much they should be drinking. Five drinks regularly to "unwind" isquite a lot. I know the tone has gotten pretty intense, but it shouldn't interfere with the central message: the behavior you're describing in your husband is binge drinking, and the more often he does it, the worse off your family will be. Silverstein had her first child in a hospital, with her husband present. All they could do was pace the floor in the waiting room. Pack your own hospital bag. I had trauma to the right side of my abdomen and hip area, have muscle spasms in the regular to this day, five years later, and my incision looks crazy. Exercise. Well of course the pain increased dramatically and the nurse, watching the monitor, kept commenting on it soothingly, so I figured hubby was right there with me. Whos really stupid? Yes, keep telling her that labor will sober him right up, and that he has to sit in the waiting room if he is buzzed, because that's totally the right answer. Supporting a woman in labor is an incredibly exciting and important role. We keep quiet about it, yet are both so in tune with one another, we know exactly the minute something is up. Oh. Be there to offer encouragement for labor and delivery. While bringing the note over they saw his truck and had to go bang on our bedroom window to wake my stupid husband up. Then just before we were about to leave for the hospital, he looked at me and said, are you really going with your hair looking like that? . It's too much. HELLO! (I am not worried about a ride though because we have a ton of family and friends that could take me in a pinch.). He finally comes back as I was about to go investigate (and by investigate, I mean cause bodily harm) and explained that he had food stuck in his teeth so he had been trying to floss it out!!!!!!